moving forward

I've had enough adrenaline and cortisol production for one week, so I'd like to move on and change the subject. Not sure if any of you have followed the story of me and Peter, but if you have, the last you heard, we had broken up. The thing is, we still were talking every day and not really doing any of the things you do in a break up to move past the person you've broken up with. It didn't feel like the solution we were looking for and neither of us were satisfied leaving it at that. It took me some time, but it actually was the step back I needed to take in order to move forward. That initial hormone laden, idealistic fairy tale, sparkles and fireworks period had worn off and I was left with the same great person, but in human form. This was a barrier I'd not yet been able to break through.

At the same time I was feeling this, he was about to move in with me from across the country and so I freaked. I think anyone with a history of retreating in the face of sustained intimacy would've had the same reaction. However, as we continued to talk and I continued to work on my fears and challenge myself, I turned a corner from the perspective of fear and flight to one of looking forward to an exciting challenge that brings with it amazing rewards that I have yet to experience in this lifetime and would certainly regret missing out on.

So, we decided to take another camping trip and see where that would lead us. Western North Carolina is beginning to become a tradition for us and it's one of my favorite places. Unfortunately we couldn't hike much because my knee was still swollen. Hence, the knee brace and mini-trampoline.






Aside from one major point of contention regarding bear safety during a period of 24 hours of rain, it was a great trip. Not only that, but the time we spent at home living daily life was completely different than last time when I was having my freak out. I didn't feel crowded or that my personal space was being invaded, but rather, I felt content and excited to come home to him after my daily errands. Coming home with him here was like a exhaling after a deep, satisfying breath of clean air.

After all of those days and nights struggling with whether I was ready for this kind of relationship, waffling between moving forward and moving on, wishing the decision could just be taken out of my hands, only after I'd found resolution, it was. Ironically, after I felt that indeed I was ready, still a bit scared, but able and willing to take on this new and exciting challenge, the fairy tale wore off for Peter and he was left with the same great person adorned in all of her humanity.

The dilemma was that Peter has dreamed of working in major motion pictures since he was a kid. He even went to school for it and worked in several aspects of production. For his whole life, the story in his head began in Los Angeles. All of the sudden, he was faced with the same feeling that I had not too long ago, that time was running out for him to get a start and if he made the "wrong" choice, that he'd always be looking over his shoulder wondering how things might have been. He was torn between me and L.A. with the idea that his career and a relationship with me were mutually exclusive.

I spent about a year (one week in real time) giving him space to figure out what the right decision was for him. I was in limbo. I let him know that I wanted to move forward with our relationship, but that I wanted even more for him to make a decision that he felt good about. It was important to me that he could feel as though he would be moving forward rather than like he was sacrificing something so important. If his decision meant that we really break up for good, I told him I'd be sad but I was sure that we would both be okay no matter what. The difficult part for me was that I couldn't start the difficult process of mourning the relationship, nor could I fantasize about our future together because both were a possibility and all I could do was wait. How long I could stay sane doing this was to be determined. Fortunately for me, after about a week and some conversations between him and his friends in L.A. who are in the business, he decided to commit to Atlanta for a year and re-evaluate then. Neither he nor I see ourselves in Atlanta permanently, but with my soap business growing locally, I feel I need to stay here for a while and cultivate it before transplanting it someplace else.

His thought was to be here permanently in time for Christmas, however my mom will be visiting for a couple of weeks and that would definitely be a full house. I haven't seen my mom in about three years, an amount of time that I feel is shameful and I'm thoroughly looking forward to spending time with her. So, it may be that Peter moves here after the first of the year. I am by no means suggesting that my mom's visit will foil my plans, please don't read it that way. My whole relationship with Peter has been a constant lesson in patience. You could say I have my yellow belt in patience. Besides the fact that time is flying by as my soap flies out the door during the holiday season, I enjoy the anticipation of exciting events and it's really not that far away. I'm looking forward to ringing in the new year with my mom and my man.

Fraud Alert

This woman and I entered into a wholesale NOT private label agreement wherein she would sell Sudstress soaps that I have spent the last 5 years developing, photographing, branding and trademarking. As it turns out, she has been selling them under fraudulent pretenses and claiming that she spent the years, sweat, blood and tears that I have creating a product and brand. She is NOT a member of the handcrafted soapmaker's guild, though I am, and has fraudulently used their logo on her blog. I guess it's another earmark of success, but it's infuriating none the less. Here is the blog in which she has stolen all of my pictures, sans packaging, my website and etsy content word for word:

http://www.thewrightsoap.blogspot.com/

She's since taken it down per my request but stated in her last email that I've ruined her good name and that she is going to keep the site for her new soap shop. Her initial emails inquired if the soaps would be greasy because of all the oils used, which indicates that she knows nothing of the basic chemistry behind soapmaking. Based on her latest email, she recommends that I copyright my photos and protect my soap (and perhaps I should) like she "did as soon as (she) came up with a recipe as good as (mine)" ...apparently now she makes soap? Here are the screen shots of her blog, from which she still intends to sell soap. Whose it is and whether she will claim to have made it remains to be seen.






The difference between a private label agreement and falsely claiming to be the manufacturer doesn't seem to exist in this woman's mind. She seems to think that because Sudstress is trademarked, that's where the problem lies. That would be the case if she made soap herself and tried to sell it under the Sudstress name. She had permission to sell my soap until I found out that she was claiming to have made it herself.

I split my pants and other tales from Cabbagetown.

Yesterday was the annual Chomp & Stomp festival in Cabbagetown. Though I was not a first time attendee, I was a first time vendor. I have to say, this day had a few glitches in the beginning, but it was a fantastic day overall. I had to get up at 4:30 a.m. but managed to get a good 5 hours of sleep and even left the house on time! It's hard for me not to run late early in the morning. I made my way to my friend Erin's place since she was kind enough to follow me with the hand truck that she got me for my birthday (woo!) since I can't fit it in my car with my EZ Up and all of my product. She may have been regretting that around 6:30 Saturday morning...

I get to Cabbagetown Park and as I'm unloading my car, my jeans decided they'd been pushed around by my hindquarters one too many times and just couldn't hold it together any longer. So, they decided to part ways; each side of my pants that is, and I was left with a big, long rip in my jeans nearly the length of my whole butt cheek. The second the cold morning air rushed on in and my right cheek felt a slight chill, so did my spirit. You may not have been able to tell by looking at me, but I did not remain calm.

Erin & I moved our cars out of the load in area and onto a side street where I shared this lovely news with her and proceeded to get more and more stressed out thinking about the next 12 hours with a tear in my ass that had great potential of migrating down the back of my leg, leaving me with half ass-less chaps. She offered to go to my place, grab another pair of jeans and bring them back to me, which filled me with relief. While waiting for my whole pants, I leaned over and to my chagrin, the red bull I had in my front shirt pocket fell out, landed on and broke the top tier of my favorite display piece. Oh well. I felt much better once I changed into my in tact pants in the back of Erin's car before I released her back to the slumber she missed out on while helping me.

Feeling whole again, I continued to set up with the company of some nice neighbors including the lovely Sam of talulah B whose color scheme was nearly the same as mine and a very complimentary neighbor. We bartered; soap for a cool cameo cocktail ring! The weather was perfect, several of my friends visited and at times I had a line of people waiting to make their purchase as I swiped the ol' knuckle buster over people's credit cards.

Three apples and a red bull later, the sun was setting and my inventory was dwindling. While packing up in the dark, I took the opportunity to run across the park to introduce myself to my favorite local author, Hollis Gillespie, who had been swamped (as was I) with people in her booth all day. I'm sure I came off as a fast talking, hyperactive crazy person, but it was fun to meet her just the same. I had actually meant to make her a cutie pie slice stamped with "Bleachy Haired Honky Bitch" after one of her books which I love, but of course forgot to do the night before. Oh well. After a not-so-smooth-but-could've-been-a-lot-worse load out, I was home by 8 and in bed at 10:30 after an hour long nap on the couch. This morning, I am happy to report that all of my credit card entries were accepted and approved!

I have had a pretty rough few days, so I'm very thankful to have had a day filled with productivity, sales and distraction. I will probably share the emotional distress I've been filled with the last few days in a separate post. For now, I'd like to revel in the wonderful success of a mostly beautiful day and not think about the rest.

Three of three which is still four with fingers crossed for five

Okay, you've waited long enough. I haven't been trying to build the anticipation by delaying the post of this, uh.. post. It's just that this third one is big. It's the biggest opportunity for me so far and because no actual soap or money has exchanged yet, I have been hesitant to make an official announcement. I'll admit that I've probably told at least ten people in the last week or so. I just can't completely hold it in.

To recap, I first posted about an opportunity that came through is a spot in Etsy's City Guide. This feature is not currently live, but when it is, I will be one of many artists included in the Atlanta section. I'm excited to see how it turns out!

The second fantastic piece of news I shared with you was when I found out that I was going to be featured in Daily Candy's fall wedding guide for Atlanta, which came out October 13th.

This is how the third one played out...

Almost two months ago I received an email from the buyer at the Harry's Farmers Market, all of whose stores were bought out by Whole Foods Markets in 2001, inquiring about my soap. She actually discovered me on etsy. (Shout out to Etsy, yo!) We emailed back and forth multiple times and eventually she sent me this 11 page vendor application packet. It took me a second to get over my intimidation. I filled it out, sent it in about a month ago and then about a week and a half ago I started to get emails showing that a vendor account had been set up for me, but without explicitly being told "you are now a WFM vendor". I admit, I got a little choked up, but still wasn't sure if I'd actually been accepted or not and had to have it spelled out for me before I understood that my soap had been accepted!

I am at the very beginning of this process and not sure what kind of timeline or volume to expect, but I. am. excited!! There will certainly be a learning curve when dealing with an organization of this size, as I am used to single or partner owned boutiques, but I am ready for the challenge and secure in my abilities. I still have that old childhood voice in my head that didn't want to announce this amazing news for fear that I may "jinx it". Then the rational sudstress Kat steps in and asks "why would an organization of this size waste their time setting up an account for a vendor with whom they do not plan to do business?" and I get all excited again. It still has yet to completely sink in.

You may remember back in August when I posted about the Etsy & Martha Stewart Weddings DIY contest that I entered. They were supposed to announce the winners on October 15th, but have yet to do so due to technical difficulties. I've got my fingers crossed to make it in their favorite etsians.

two of three, which is now four (sweet!)

A little over a month ago, I wrote this blog post talking about some exciting possibilities that have come my way recently. Well, since then, a fourth press opportunity has popped up, but I'm not going to blab that one either! However, I am now ready to tell you about number two! (hee hee, number two...) *ahem* sorry.

I was approached a while back by the Atlanta editor of Daily Candy about my soap cakes. She originally asked me about the large soap cakes and floating cupcakes which are cool and beautiful, but out of production with good reason. So, I told her about my cutie pies which are an evolution of the soap cake, but with a more specific purpose; wedding favors. Of course I've sold them since as...

baby shower favors

bridal shower hostess gifts

li'l gift sets

After a couple of weeks without a yes showing up in my inbox, I thought maybe they had decided not to use me (yet, hopefully). But today I received word that they'd like to use my cutie pie favors in their wedding guide. Woo! I'm not exactly sure when it comes out, but past 'issues' have come out in the end of October.

because it's not safe to write while driving

I always have these random thoughts that I'd like to explore that may or may not make for some good bloggin'. I've even started carrying around a small notebook to record those ideas so they don't disappear into the black hole that all those dreams which never get written down go. Alas, typically these ideas come while I'm driving. By the time I reach my destination... *poof* it's gone. I do remember one general idea I had though; gratitude posts.

I've been trying immersion learning. Basically, I've been trying to constantly surround myself with environments, information and people in an effort to completely overhaul my way of thinking. It's starting to gain momentum. I am easily thrown off track when things temporarily beyond my control prohibit me from getting the sleep, food or other fundamental things I need. I have found, though, that I rebound relatively quickly and that's a sign of growth. I've incorporated yoga 4-5 times per week as well as body pump 2-3 times per week. I take walks. I have introduced myself to books, cd's and dvd's that contain information that is anywhere from common sense reminders to concepts completely new to me. I find it's been and continues to be tremendously helpful.

The yoga is the greatest addition. By attending classes, it's been a way for me to block out those destructive thoughts I've had about my body since about the age of 12 and be still, practice discipline, forgiveness, non-judgement and focus on my breath and my position from my mind's eye rather than a mirror. Approaching yoga as a source of healing of body, mind, spirit is a place I've wanted to get to for a long time and am happy to finally have found an open door to that place. Off the mat, it's been tremendously helpful as well. When I'm in an uncomfortable position - like a long line, traffic, stifling humidity - I can breathe through that anger or frustration and create a better world for myself in a situation that I can't control until I can get to a better place. I've definitely not mastered this, but any relief in those situations makes a world of difference. I'm learning to create my own happiness no matter where I am.

Forgive me for this rambling post. I meant to just pop in and say "sorry for not posting, been busy, here's a picture of my cat," but I kept going. I also don't plan to re-read and edit for better composition because I don't have the time. So, I'll leave you with the intention I had for this post:

Gratitude is the open door to abundance.

Yes, I got this off of a yogi tea tag. However, it's a concept that has helped me take my focus off what is wrong or missing in my life and realize just how much there is to be thankful for. Once you start noticing, it seems like more and more amazing, beautiful things appear. This one small phrase has such a broad interpretation. I encourage you to think beyond the literal, beyond abundance meaning wealth in the form of money. I had an a-ha moment because of this phrase and I hope you will too.

Now, a picture of my cat, whose love and health I am grateful for, which I have not had the chance to edit; much like this post.

new retail location

Hey my Atlanta peeps! Thanks to Jordan Chadwell, co-owner of Meringue, a beautiful fashion boutique in the Morningside neighborhood of Atlanta, for choosing to carry sudstress soaps. You can find Meringue at 1393 N. Highland Avenue across from Alon's Bakery. So far Jordan reports that people love my soap (aww, shucks) and has already sold a number of bars. If you happen to be in the neighborhood, or even if you don't, please support two independent businesses and pop in for some shopping.

Currently you can find the following scents:

black raspberry

sunshine

silk & shea

mint meditation